LP Hartley said the past is another country: they do things differently there. For me the past is a newspaper column I can’t remember writing.

There can’t be many weekly newspaper columnists who have catalogued their family life for more than 25 years. Most writers would have more sense or something better to do. The truth is, once you set something in motion like this, basically hanging your dirty linen out to dry on a regular basis, it gets easier to the point where there’s very little that you won’t stoop to writing about.

No one has ever complained about being in one of my columns, but several people probably wondered why they weren’t mentioned. I’m still writing this column so keep your eyes peeled.

For the moment here we have a collection of my weekly column from 2000 & 2002 for the grand old Scottish newspaper The Press & Journal, the circulation area of which is larger than Belgium. Obviously there are a lot less sheep in Belgium.

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